If only I could tickle myself...

Why can't you tickle yourself!

If I could only tickle myself, my life would be totally different on this Valentine's Day. Heck - I would even declare myself a wholehearted independent woman! In so many ways, I am a complete woman already. I am financially independent. Emotionally independent. I can even satisfy myself and look after myself in a procreational way, if I want. The only thing that I cannot do on my own is tickling myself. Dammit! It's that light touch I miss... that sense of surprise that makes me giggle. Here's an idea for an invention - a feather that brushes against someone randomly. Who would ever need a romantic partner with one of those around? Maybe I could start a trend and declare myself the Solitairy State of Sonya!